Just Thinking

The feeling strikes again
The feeling of superiority
The feeling of achievement
Only that it’s a mistaken feeling
As mistaken as the owner maybe
The feeling that grows to a reality
A bitter reality of mistakes
A bitter reality of a series of wrongly chosen paths
Regrets keep banging loud
Making it all painful
Why?
But as those around would keep telling me,
This is life.
But does it have to be this painful?
I ask myself
Do I have to hurt so many people?
Do I have to embarrass an uncountable other?
Because of the same reason?
As much as this turns out to be life,
I do not happen to like it at all.
But would I have avoided it?
I don’t know, I don’t think so.
You would wonder, was I alone. . .
Not really I was in the presence of others,
Stronger, more superior, better achieved if so to say.
Now to work on the learning part.
To make sure that I don’t slip again,
I don’t fail again on the same invisible challenge.
But as painful as it may sound,
As down and ousted as it may be
The monologue will keep on
The fire of regret will keep burning
Until the lesson gets learnt.
The hard way.
CB
10/10/2011
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